Parents, you have a unique opportunity at bedtime.Between the constant needs of our kids, the demands and expectations of the world, and the desperate need for sleep, the weight of parenting can feel overwhelming. We all want to be good parents, and we know biblical parenting is important, but how do we make it happen?

The Bible is packed with wisdom that’s still relevant today, giving guidance on how to lead and love our children in truth and grace.

As Christian parents, we lean on God’s Word to navigate all aspects of our lives, including our parenting. Here are 5 principles to help us parent our children biblically and help them build their own relationships with Jesus.

“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates …” – Deuteronomy 6:6-9

When we’re parenting our children in God’s ways, we want His truths to really last with them. But just telling our kids the Gospel story and hoping it sticks isn’t enough. Deuteronomy shows us that teaching our kids is a round-the-clock job: at home, on the road, in the morning, at night, and in plain sight every day.

Teaching our children is a whole-life process. It’s not just about family Bible study or church on Sundays. Parenting our kids to know and love Jesus is something we get to weave into every moment with them.

“Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.” Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of Him.” She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.” – 1 Samuel 1:15-18

Parenting can be fun, but also come with challenging days. Some days we’ll feel heartbroken, discouraged, frustrated, and downright mad. We’ll have moments where we feel like we’re failing, like we’re falling apart, and like we can’t do anything right. When those moments come, where we can take heart in knowing that God listens to and answers our prayers.

God hears us in our most frustrating and discouraging moments as a parent. When we parent, we’re doing it on our own. The Holy Spirit is with us, helping us to lead our children to Him.

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’” – Matthew 7:21-23

The temptation in parenthood is to focus on behavior modification: we punish bad behavior and reward good behavior. But raising children who love God, read the Bible, and live to be more like Jesus is about developing their character.

There will be times when we feel like we’re constantly dealing with our children’s actions and behaviors: disobedience, disrespect, lying, stealing. But when we’re experiencing negative behavior, there’s usually a lot more under the surface. What’s happening in our child’s heart? The same can be said for their positive behavior. Just because they’re kind and thoughtful doesn’t mean they’re being shaped into someone more like Jesus.

Actions and behaviors aren’t the same as truly knowing Christ. Let’s encourage our children to know Christ deeply, not to just “behave well.”

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it… Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away. – Proverbs 22:6,15

Did you know discipline is encouraged in the Bible? Did you know that whenever Scripture talks about discipline, it’s not about punishment? The Bible actually encourages us to discipline our children in order to shape them into the right kind of people, not because they deserve punishment.

Healthy and biblical discipline helps children understand the natural consequences of their actions and promotes change. More than that, discipline acts as the natural guardrails to protect our children from danger and guide them toward Jesus.

Finding the balance between discipline for behavior management and character formation can be tricky. But when we discipline our children, we aren’t just creating a better-behaved child. We’re helping them become a person that loves Jesus and develops their own personal relationship with Him.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

We want to be good parents. We want to love our children well and shepherd them to know Jesus. We want to teach them God’s wisdom and truth, and we want to do it all while being perfectly patient and kind. But on our own, it’s impossible to do all of it. The amazing thing is, we don’t have to rely on our own power. Our parenting comes from the power of the Holy Spirit.

When we find our own identity in Christ and rely on Him, we find ourselves being more loving, joyful, patient, and kind. With the Holy Spirit overflowing in us, it will naturally spill over into our parenting. That’s not to say that if we snap at our kids, we don’t have the Holy Spirit anymore. It’s okay to mess up sometimes. But it’s important to realize that our personal spiritual life relays into our parenting. We can easily invite Jesus to help us and through Him, we’ll see the positive results.

If you’re looking for a place to find community and support as you guide your family, Faith Church has your back. We care about you and and want to see you flourish. Join us this weekend.